Mini-Me Monday: The King of Cheese

This one was written ten years ago, way back in middle school! I think Mini Maria was a little cheesy… 😉

The King of Cheese by Maria Ferguson

This is a story about the King of Cheese. That’s why it is entitled “The King of Cheese.”  If it wasn’t about the King of Cheese, I might have called it “Unicorn Pastures” or “A Day at School.”  However, this story is about a king, a mouse, who rules over cheese (quite literally, in fact).

His throne is made out of the finest Swiss cheese; thus, he rules directly over the cheese.  Besides the literal meaning of his title, he also rules over his many henchmice, and most importantly, the King of Cheese rules over every bit of cheese on earth.  He became arrogant over the years, after being in charge of such a vast empire for so long; he gradually began to overestimate his power.

One day, the King decided to revolt against humans.  It annoyed him that humans thought cows made cheese; after all, every single crumb of cheese was created by him, or by his cheese-making mice!  Why should cows get credit for his work?  He rounded up all the cheese in the world, even the Swiss cheese throne he ruled directly over, and told them, “Those stupid humans think that you were made by COWS!  Cows, those mooing, fat, spotted, dull animals!  They think that cows created you, that your existence is dependent on cows!  Are you going to let yourselves to be insulted by them?  Will you take it lying down?  Or will you join me, and fight?”

Well, all the cheese – the Swiss, the parmesan, the mozzarella, the Monterey Jack, and every type of cheese present – seemed to be taking it lying down.  In fact, the crowd of cheese didn’t move a muscle, if cheese has muscles.

“Well?  Aren’t you angry at these humans for saying such things about you?  Come on, don’t ANY of you think it’s the least bit insulting for someone to say you came from a cow?”

A small mouse came scampering onto the platform.  It glanced nervously at the crowd, and gave the king a small note.  The King of Cheese read it to himself under his breath, but as he progressed his voice grew into angry shouts:  “Humans manufacture cheese for themselves with a little help from cows.  There are six steps in the creation of cheese: preparing the milk; separating the curds from the whey; pressing the curds; ageing the cheese; wrapping natural cheese; and making and wrapping processed cheese.  Without cows, the making of cheese would be impossible, as humans would have none of the ingredients necessary for cheese.  But then again, there’s always goat cheese.”

And then the entire crowd of impassive cheese came to life; they dethroned the King, and executed all the goat cheeses.  The present Queen of Cheese rules from her cheese throne, over her cheesy subjects, in a green pasture.  A green pasture, you ask? Don’t you know?  The Queen of Cheese is a cow!



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