School sucks.

Hello everyone ūüôā I probably won’t get a chance to write for real until winter break, but I hope you’ll come back after the drought.

Being a humanities-oriented person in engineering school is a thoroughly unpleasant experience. I’m¬†so curious to see what I think of my decision to pursue engineering after it’s all over. Right now, I think I was an idiot, but I’ve gone back and forth on this a lot, so we’ll see.

I’m taking 18 credit hours of engineering classes, I’m absurdly overloaded and overstressed, and if I do really well for the rest of the semester, I’ll still get my first C I’ve ever gotten in a class. Two of them, in fact. So basically I’m just looking forward to it all being over.

Anyway, I’ll stop being depressing and just post a depressing poem ūüėČ

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Time to shoot for the stars!

This is not the last you’ll hear of this. In fact, I’ve mentioned it several times, most notably in my post moaning about having second thoughts regarding my course of study.

I’m an English Grammar/Composition/Literature type of girl. I’m a fan of foreign languages. I dabble in¬†art.

I’m an engineering major.

Weird, right? I’ve always thought so. It was actually literature, not science, that inspired me to go into engineering in the first place: Ayn Rand’s description¬†of the geniuses who secretly run¬†things, the engineers who are¬†the true movers and shakers of the world.

I’m not a fan of Objectivism by any means, but Rand’s¬†words¬†stuck with me. I wanted to be one of those geniuses. So I declared the major and figured I’d see how it went.

Taking calculus and physics and chemistry was fine (if occasionally torturous), but I never felt the same passion I’d felt when I read¬†Atlas Shrugged. Part of the problem was that my program is dual degree (3 years at one school for a BA, 2 years at another for a BS in mechanical engineering), which means no¬†actual engineering classes until this upcoming fall. But I was still nursing¬†a hunch that for me to be truly passionate about a class, it needed to be words-based, where I could¬†logic it all out with reading and writing. English. Foreign language. Philosophy. History, sometimes. Politics, maybe.

Thinking in words is easy. Thinking in math is¬†hard. I’m learning, slowly, but I can only think in algebra at best. Thinking in calculus is still beyond me. I’m about to¬†transition from a small liberal arts college¬†to a university with real engineering classes, and it occurs to me that this might be the point where my lack of passion leaves me dead in the water.

Luckily, just the other day, I found a goal. Continue reading

Confessions of a crazed college student

Fall semester freshman year was sunshine and daisies. New friends who literally lived right next door, all the free (read: pre-paid for by my tuition) food I could cram into my face, and classes that, while challenging, were comparable to high school? Sounds like paradise. Sure, when exams cropped up I shouldered my fair share of stress, but I quickly forgot it as I dove headfirst into college life.

My blissful bubble¬†didn’t last long before it burst.

Continue reading